Not updated my blog since October 2009! How time flies and where has it gone?

Christmas has been and gone and we survived, we had a lovely time around my family, a frugal happy christmas, I even managed a present for my hubby and he for me so it was nice as previous years we’ve not bothered. 

I’m 26 months into my IVA now and just completed my 2nd review, this has gone very well and I upped some of my allowances due to an increase in expenditure and these were allowed.  I would urge all people within an IVA to complete their income and expenditure with a true reflection of what is spent and hopefully things will be a little easier in the IVA as my increases were allowed on this review, I realise this isn’t always possible but they can only say NO if they don’t agree.  My fixed rate mortgage came to an end and this reduced my mortgage payment, my IVA took 50% of this disposable income and therefore left me a little easier within the IVA.  I have to admit I’ve struggled for a while within an IVA and still have arrears but things are now looking up for us within the IVA and I’m able to continue to pay extra to the IVA to help chip away at those arrears as I would love to get rid of them.

 Sadly I’ve suffered a bit of depression of late and my sleep has been badly affected.  I’m hoping I’ve turned a corner with the depression as of late I’ve felt a little better and a lot more positive. Not sleeping well still as it’s 4.10am now!  So much happens and I think any of us can only cope with so much.

The other week we received a £20 reward for finding and handing in a mobile phone, restores your faith in people, the lady gave me a bouquet of flowers and a £20 note, last night we went to a restaurant that was 2 for £10 and enjoyed a meal and a drink.  Thank you Krystina. x

I continue to enjoy the forum and continue to post, i continue to learn and often get things wrong but I’m trying to gain some knowledge and always like to welcome new posters.  

I am fed up with teaching and think I’m coming to the end of this part of my career, no idea which way it will go now but I am attending a Marketing event (taster day) next Wednesday as I do like the marketing side of my job.  I’m sure by the time I’m 50 I’ll find something I like!

 My son has just been accepted to the University of Manchester at the age of 27 and my daughter’s mock exam results came through as all A’s or A*’s.  Very proud Mummy.

To all of those thinking of entering an IVA, remember to take the advice of 2 or 3 IP’s and get that all important, impartial, non-judgemental advice that is free and will be specific to your circumstance.

Another month into the IVA journey, another month knocked from the total amount of payments left, it’s a big counting down game for me and often visualise life outside of the IVA within my head, I’m going to do so much but one thing is for certain I’m not going to be in this situation again.  At the end of this month we’re on payment number 22 - how lovely and to be fair has gone by very quickly.

Schools back and the influx of the voluntary contributions letters and the GCSE field trip letters are arriving thick and fast!  That will be one huge saving when she’s out of education, not that I begrudge her a penny but I have to source the trips/resources from another part of the budget and it’s not easy as I’m sure you all appreciate.  We’re looking into 6th form and college as a possibility for the future at the minute. 

Frugal Friends Christmas Party  kindly paid for by Melanie Giles coming up on November 21st, Melanie is not only my IP but a forum member who is close to so many people and a very valued member of the forum.  Thank you Melanie it’s the only time I’m going out this Christmas so I hope to attend, money permitting and enjoy myself.  I’ve even managed a Primark top and earrings to wear! ooh get me! last of the big spenders, turning back to days pre-IVA I would probably have bought something from some designer shop, worn it once and it would be hanging in my wardrobe with the good intention of wearing it again when in reality I know I would never have worn it again! I stil have some of those items hanging up…..not that they fit me now!

My grandchildren are keeping me busy now the twins are here they’re double trouble, no seriously they’re not they’re very laid back and like their Mummy so nice and sweet.  I do help them and although I can’t financially I do help by sleeping their once a week to let them get a full nights sleep and that way they can recharge their batteries for the coming week and this week I had them while they went out on Saturday day time.

 Christmas is fast approaching and I could get anxious if I let myself but I’m trying to stay calm and within budget although I find it so hard to find things that look anything and I know it’s the thought etc., but I still like to buy a ‘nice’ gift for my family.

 Daughter had a 16th Birthday Party, well it started off as having a few friends over then turned into a party, I did explain to her I had no money to fund any of this and she was fine with this, the 12 friends decided to put a few £ in the pot each and get some pizza from Domino’s and also a couple of alcopops each. I think it was £3.00 each they paid and it was plenty.  All was happy and a good time had……..until the next week at school when some turned on her for having a party whereby you had to pay……..she was bullied for a couple of days but it certainly shows who your true friends are in times like this, I think this was a good learning curve for her even though she was a little upset by it, she was too trusting towards people and now I think she will be a little more wary.�

I’m going to write a positive post, I’m now 20 months into my IVA and so therefore a third of the way in…time has flown by and although it’s not always been plain sailing with an excellent IP, I’m here.  Thank you Melanie.

I met 3 forum members during August and we all got on really well.  I’ve booked my room for November 21st where Melanie is sponsoring the Frugal Friends Christmas Party, what an honour it will be to meet more forum members.  Hubby will come with me too so that is a bonus, it’s two days before his birthday too.

 I’ve been made a Forum Expert which surprised me as I don’t know that much about debt but as I was told genunine empathy can sometimes exceed knowledge, so I accepted the title and feel very proud to be part of such a fantastic forum.  My confidence grows all the time within my IVA and have no hesitation now of being honest to people re lack of money, I’ve not told anyone about the IVA still but feel I can say ‘I’m sorry short of cash at the minute’.

To end on a super note for a short positive post for September, I now have 5 Grandchildren and my latest additions are twin boys born on the 6.09.09. It was love at first sight and I’ve seen them almost daily since their birth and can tell they’re going to be a huge part of my life.  Throughout all the stresses and strains that debt brings the feeling of new life and intense love far outweighs the negative feelings.  Hope you all have a fab September and continue to enjoy the forum as much as I do.

And another month zooms by, I’m now 19 months into my IVA, it soon goes be a third of the way there next month! Now that sounds good.

Won myself a free service for the car from our local paper earlier in the year, off work for a week so decided to claim my prize and lo and behold it brought up a multitude of problems with the car! Offered to do the work there and then for around £500, I did have to tell them no, I’d talk to hubby whereas once upon a time I’d have said ‘go ahead’ and got out the plastic without hesitation.  Son in law fixed the brakes quote was for £168.00 he did them for £45.00 what a difference, tyres was told initialy they were ok, then we needed two then we needed 4! got a quote for ecconomy tyres as I don’t do that many miles and went with that, the squealing noise from the turbo stopped since we had some hose repaired and all other repairs done at a little local garage not a dealership.  Also managed to get hubby and myself the required glasses we had prescriptions for.  I always thought I could see perfect, how wrong can you be? I picked up my glasses yesterday and didn’t realise how bad my eyes were! From a distance I can now see things so much clearer! Hubby also needs £445.00 approx of dental work but this is more cosmetic at the minute than necessary so we’re leaving that as we’ve missed an IVA payment with permission of IP to pay for the car and the glasses.  MOT next Friday, fingers crossed for me please.

We didn’t make the Thrifty Friends meeting in Manchester due to above problems and daughter now working on a Saturday and doesn’t finish until 4.30pm most weeks, so logistically we couldn’t have made it which was a real shame.

Our 16th Wedding Anniversary yesterday and we celebrated in style at China 88 a £5.88 all you can eat buffet, I enjoyed it and he certainly got value for money!  I’ve had a week off my diet as we’ve been off work been to local parks and even attempted kite flying very unsuccessfully I hasten to add! Had a lovely time with minimal cost. 

All my family gathered together last weekend as we scattered my brothers ashes it was an emotional weekend but brought some finality to it, leading up to the event I didn’t cope well but since the event I’ve felt very calm.

 Sadly hubby’s Mum sectioned under the Mental Health Act again this week, we went to visit last Sunday and again she demonstrated aggressive, erratic and very depressed behaviour all in the space of the ten minutes we were there, the woman is so ill and was discharged last time so quickly. Why do the NHS do this it is false ecconomy as now they had to get the sectioning order again and begin treatment again, here is hoping they keep her detained until she is more stable.

To end on a positive work will sponsor me to do my PGCE (CertEd) not sure if I can get enrolled prior to September but will certainly be taking up there offer for the year 2010.

Missed out May 09 on the blog update! how did that happen? time flies so quickly it’s so easy to lose touch.  I still visit the forum on a daily basis and although I don’t post I do read and always get the support I need if I do post.  I often look like a selfish poster asking for support but hardly commenting on others posts, I must make an effort to be more active and supportive to others.  It is not intentional to ignore people.

 Well I’m looking forward to the Thrifty Friends meet in Manchester, my social calendar is filling up! I’ve got a BBQ this Saturday at Son in Laws parents (best behaviour there then)!  July is the Thrifty Friends meet, we were humming and hawing over this one but in the end we decided to bring our Wedding Anniversary forward to that weekend and treat ourselves to a night in a hotel and attend the meeting. With it being in Manchester we also get to see my family so it’s a good location for us.  I see on forum Melanie and Andy are arranging some more in a Birmingham location that is a fair way from us but you never know maybe next year I’ll get to another meeting, I’m really looking forward to the Manchester meet, when I get there I won’t know what to say to anyone and be really withdrawn but at least I’ll have been!   August is Brothers 25th wedding anniversary party in a local town so that’s me out 3 months in a row!

A lot has happened this month my Uncle has passed away, my Mum came up for the funeral but wouldn’t come to my home or even home town, she really will not acknowledge that my brother, her son has passed away, it’s as though he has never existed.  Daughter is in the midst of her Science GCSE’s she done Biology, got Chemistry and Physics this week, she’s a hard worker and I’m guessing she’ll do well.  She’ll complete her GCSE’s next year when she goes into Yr 11. She’s got herself a Saturday job, 9am-4pm and gets paid £20! This helps her become indpendant and relieves the pressure from me a little with her leisure money, obviously I continue to fund her education and clothing.  Had my eye test, yes need glasses, prescription is pinned to board in kitchen, hubby’s eye test first Sat in July and guessing he’ll need a new script too.  He visited the dentist for his check and he needs £445 worth of work! Amazing eh? Melanie said to give her a call and we’ll work something out which I will do but until I know the damage for all three as in two scripts for glasses and the dental work there is no point so I’m not ignoring her and do appreciate the help but feel snowed under at the moment.  MIL has been released from hospital but is far from well, they have definitely let her out too soon, she has community nursing going in everyday but on the phone she hardly knows who we are. 

 My sleeping pattern is becoming more eratic and last night I went to bed at 8pm and got up at 7am this morning! Chances are now I won’t sleep for two nights! Wish I could get into a regular routine as I know I’d feel better and feel more rational!

Daughter broke her bed! well it broke shall we say, I did a car boot raised £40, bought a nearly new one off friend for £50 so that was a result in itself!

I’m still alive and I’m still healthy so things are good on that front, I’ll be out this IVA one day and I know I’ll look back to it and think never again but for now I’ve just got to get on with it.  Stay positive and focussed everyone xx

We went to Manchester on 11/04/09 for the day, we brought my brother’s ashes home and he’s now here with me in his home town.  They will be scattered at a later date when the family are together.  My Mum is still not up to it and although I can see a slight improvement she is still not acknowledging the death at all.

Whilst in Manchester we went shopping to Primark, normally I get my daughter a few essentials, it’s rare I bother with myself but on Saturday I wanted to SHOP SHOP SHOP!  It was a scary feeling, luckily no contingency and no credit cards meant I couldn’t but that feeling of I just wanted to buy was as though I needed a fix, that feeling was definitely there and although I’m now over it, it made me pretty down to say the least that I couldn’t have this or that! How selfish but thankfully now back on the IVA wagon and seated firmly.  I wonder if I’ll ever be cured or as my husband says it’s because we’ve been without for almost two years now and do we just need a treat?  Who knows but I do know I don’t enjoy that feeling and would feel devastated if I did return to spending someone else’s money! i.e credit cards!

David has offered to sponsor a frugal friends meeting which is extremely generous and above and beyond the call of duty, I would love to attend this and will do so time and money permitting of course!  Think this will help on a personal level as I cannot talk about IVA to anyone else nor do I know anyone else personally in an IVA, so it’ll make me feel less alone.

5^th birthday of Granddaughter this week to and I managed to get her a half decent present as I did a car boot and made the grand total of £107! Spent £40 on her and the rest is safely away where nobody will find it!

I want to save for a fishing licence £26.00 and a season ticket for lake, £50 for my hubby for Fathers Day, others will help out with cash but would be lovely to give him something he really loves.

Well updated to add I blew the rest of the car boot money! Mind I’ve bought some sandals for work as with tutoring you’re on your feet all day so need to be comfie! (here’s me trying to justify my spending!).

Another payment made yesterday, 15 down 45 to go, we’re getting there on our debt free journey very slowly.  Got no money but still do not regeret for one minute joining the IVA route.  Had 3 letters from IVA Watchdog, two of them with full details of which court and on which date my IVA was accepted, I was angry to say the least, I’ve penned them a nicely worded strong letter and sent the copies of the letters to Melanie as requested by herself.  I’ve yet to hear anything else.  I just cannot understand when I’m registered with MPS how they can send me unsolicited mail.  I’m having a tough time in my IVA right now and to some people in my situation would receive the letter and possibly action them to assist them in bankruptcy…not that they say that is their intention in so many words!

Hubby took the two final days of his holiday this week, Thurs to re-align the kitchen doors and a general tidy up of the kitchen, Friday to fix a digital aerial in the loft, my friend had moved house and was leaving it behind and said we could have it if we wanted so jumped at the chance, after giving up Sky!

Well, I now have no tap in my kitchen and no terrestial TV!
The tap was supposedly leaking, said tap taken to pieces and now disposed of, Not one penny of contingency……..fantastic, no tap in kitchen! Luckily have a dishwasher and another sink downstairs albeit in a bathroom!

I did try to ring him when I finished work today to say I’d be late, no reply, rang his mobile no reply…I’m thinking he must be in the loft as this is where the aerial was going to be placed! I finally come home around 2.30pm just prior to picking granddaughter up from school and I hear ‘Les, go straight in front door and come out to the back’. I look everywhere and can’t see where this voice is coming from, again he repeats it and in the end I talk to an empty street ‘where are you?’ and lo and behold there he is sat next to our chimney! He’d tried aerial in loft and it didn’t work so the H&S man decided to go up 30ft! to our roof and climb along the ridge tiles on a slate roof and erect the aerial on our 2nd chimney! Whilst up there a storm brewed we had hail and rain and his ladder blew over! he had been up there two hours waiting for me to come home and his mobile was in the kitchen! to be fair I was almost in tears with fright, I couldn’t straighten the ladder it was so wet it was sliding on the guttering and I told him I’d phone our son but as he was frozen to the bone and wet through, he asked me to try, I managed to find the strength for this ladder from somewhere and stood on the bottom rung whilst he slid off the roof and basically how he did it I don’t know but found the ladder! He annoyed me so much I hit him in the chest with sheer frustration when he got to the bottom and walked off into the house! I had visions of him splattered on the slabs etc.,

We’ve laughed about it since and he realises in hindsight….oh what a wonderful thing that is, just how much danger he put himself in. He has promised not to do anything like that again, Money is dire and we’ve just about scraped through this month, now another month begins on a negative as we need to get aerial fixed by professional and purchase the new tap which he assures me he can fit!

Daughter is on work experience and loving it so much keeps talking about College instead of Uni! I’m hoping she’s caught up in the world of hair stylists and when she gets back to school changes her mind as she is very clever and goes to a select school and I have no objections to her studying hair and beauty but want there to be no regrets later in her life.

So another couple of weeks in the household of us, April will be spent sourcing an aerial bloke and explaining to him the bodge hubby has done and hoping he won’t charge us the earth as having no contingency it always has to come out of shopping allowance! As they say things can only get better!

Another month passes in my IVA journey, another month of hardship, frustration, happiness and tears of both joy and sadness.

 Hardship as I’m not getting caught up financially since my brothers funeral, I’m living day by day not even week by week! I keep thinking next month will be different and one of these months I’m going to be right!  I was due to have my arrears for my IVA cleared Feb 09 but instead I’m now further in arrears and they should be finished Aug/Sept now, but the extra I’m paying is crippling me to be fair but I will get there, this IVA has made me more determined than ever to sort my financial mind out and this is one hell of a learning curve for me!

Frustration as two letters in two weeks from IVA Watchdog, the first obviously pulled my address from the Insolvency Register as it was addressed to my hubby, Mr **** of 1 ******, null null null then my postal code! Exactly as listed on the Register! Today another but this time telling me I’m in an IVA and which Court dealt with this and on what date etc., Now assume this had been delivered to a neighbour or hubby was in IVA and I didn’t know and had opened his mail believing it to be junk! I am writing a very strongly worded letter to them, the first I did scan and send to an expert on the forum and hopefully he will be looking into their dealings!  I feel they’ve invaded my privacy a step too far for my liking!  Having a down day today as no money and Mothers Day tomorrow, my Mum is 150 miles away, Hubby’s Mum is suffering with mental illness and he’s gone alone today and he’s texted me to say he’s locked in her house now as she’s stormed out and locked him in! We’ve tried to get her help but to no avail. 

 Happiness, my daughter after what seemed a very long pregnancy gave birth to my grandson on the 6th March he wasn’t due until the 31st March and again she’d been in hospital all week but he was born safely and a good 5 and a half pound weight, two weeks old now and growing daily.  He’s a gorgeous little thing.

On a plus note my job is going very well and I’ve been asked to write my own course which will be a huge achievement if I manage it! I’ve started on it and done my aims and objectives, need to get a Scheme of Work and Lesson Plan done, more work on the content and should be ready to go live in May and June before end of term in July.  Well that’s the plan!

I keep my eyes peeeled for Frugal Friends details but nothing so far, I am badly wanting to go to a meeting as I would love to meet you all and say thanks to Melanie for being my saviour in my troubled times.

My friend has recently moved and is giving me her digital TV aerial, wow! I don’t think she realises what this means to me, but so long as hubby takes it down and refits it, it’s ours! What a bit of good luck on my part!

 Not heard anything from the I&E I sent in last month so still maintaining regular payment of last years amount.  I’m sure it won’t be long and I know I’m impatient and think that the IVA’s all evolve around me but can’t wait to see if all is ok with my IVA.

 Well my brothers fundraising has reached a grand total of £705.00 now to Diabetes UK, he’s running on May 17th Bupa Great Manchester Run, good on him!

Well I got my money back in respect of the Travelodge situation and a roundabout explanation in their terms of how it happened but they forgot their apology for my obvious inconvenience so I have now found the strength to write again to remind them and I await a further reply.I had to pay over the odds for a Premier Inn which I could ill afford but had no choice.The funeral for my brother if one can be lovely was lovely, the community spirit shown on that inner city estate brought me to tears and certainly made me feel humble.  I often pre-judge people by how they look etc., and believe me will not be doing this so consciously in the future.  That day made me think so much.  One little girl gave my Mum came to the door with 3 single red roses; I was so touched by this gesture, the tears flowed.  There were lots of flowers and I managed to purchase the family flowers.  Red, white and black (Manchester United colours) they topped the coffin. My brother who lives nearby did all the arrangements and he did it all very tastefully down to the last detail.  We all managed to do our bit during the funeral and I managed to read what I had written. He’s now running the Bupa Great Manchester Run 2009 on the 17^th May it’s a 10k run and all his sponsorship money is being raised for Diabetes UK, he has already raised £500 towards this great cause, I wish him well.I am still very tearful re my brother situation and find it hard to believe it’s 3 weeks today since he passed away, I’m sure time heals but I’m having a difficult time at the moment to understand a few things and Jan (Kallis) has been a tower of strength for me, I have confided in her, my emails to her always answered and words of comfort given.  Thank you Jan, means such a lot to me. Melanie continues to be my hero (or heroine) in times of need whilst in the IVA and my thanks again go to her for her understanding and compassion shown to me and my situation.Not heard re my completed I&E for review which I did beginning of the month yet, I’m sure I won’t be waiting long and for now am happy to continue as before.I note there may be a Frugal Friends meeting being held in
Manchester in the not too distant future, I will definitely attend god willing as I can’t wait to meet all the great people who have helped and supported me through the last months.  It also will double as a weekend away to visit my family!  Selfish reasons for me for wanting it in
Manchester really but it’s my second home.Â

Well where do I start?

From the beginning I guess so here we go!

Bear with me;

My boiler *touching wood* is a working ‘ok’ ….oh please don’t let me have spoken too soon!

My brother was taken into hospital about three weeks ago, lots of health problems, transferred to Intensive Care and I knew I needed to see him.  The snow came down here and stayed and I was going to visit him on the Saturday but sadly on Thursday 5th Feb we got the call to come now, when I said it would take me 3 – 3.5 hours to get there, the nurse expressed  he may have passed away before I arrived, I left nonetheless as I knew I had to try to get there. I asked my brother to ask him to ‘hang on’, I prayed the whole journey and I arrived at the hospital at 9.17pm, my brother passed away aged 45yrs at 9.40pm.  He was surrounded by all his family and he showed great strength to the end.   I think he hung on for me.

The funeral will be on the 20^th February.  My brother is taking charge of all the funeral costs and arrangements as he lives local to Mum and nobody knows of my IVA so when he offered to do it all, I quietly sat in the background and just agreed.  I am buying the family flowers, they have been ordered from their home town and I will pay for these it’s the least I can do.  I would like to offer to share costs but know this isn’t possible.

Now, the stress continues, I booked a hotel room (Travelodge) to stay in during the funeral period, there was a problem and they’ve charged me twice, they have no record of any booking at Travelodge, the bank blame Travelodge and vice versa! I’m hoping the charges get reversed as I’m £172.00 down and to top it all, had to borrow £40 today to cover direct debits to avoid charges as the double charge for the  non-existent rooms has wiped me clean out! Apparently these charges go into a holding account and if Travelodge don’t claim them (which they shouldn’t) it will be returned to my account ….soon….how long is soon? Nobody knows!

My IVA was a year old on the 8^th Feb! I’ve actually made 13 payments and with my 14^th will be the completion of my arrears! 

I’ve completed my I&E and sent it in with the relevant requested information, just waiting to hear the outcome, I am quietly confident there will be no increase as I know for a fact I’ve no spare money! Oh please don’t say I have spoken too soon! AGAIN!

A big…well huge thank you again to Melanie for being my IP. Not only my IP but such a wonderful caring individual, when you’re a client of Melanie you’re never a number always a person, she reads the forum and will email you in times of need and for this I thank her for her support from the bottom of my heart.